Welcome to Church - Unless You're Autistic

 

Psalm 139:14 – I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Back in the 1990s when my daughter was diagnosed, very few people had ever heard the word “autism.” I certainly didn’t know what it was. Unfortunately, my wife and I quickly became educated on the topic. We devoured books and attended conferences and soon knew more about the subject than some of the so-called “experts.”

Now, 25 years later, almost everyone knows about it and most people personally know someone with autism. Estimates of its prevalence range from 1% to 2% of the population. Other related disabilities include Asperger’s Syndrome, which is considered to be part of the “autism spectrum.” The word “spectrum” is appropriate because there’s a wide variety of people with autism, ranging from those who are able to live on their own and hold a job, to those who are unable to speak and need to be restrained in order to not hurt themselves or others. Autism often includes social awkwardness; obsession with routine; hypersensitivity to light, sound, and other sensory stimuli; and literalistic thinking. But not everyone with these characteristics has autism, and not all people with autism have all of these characteristics. Autism is a neurological disability but it is not an intellectual disability; in general, autistic people are not mentally retarded.

One problem for people with autism is that churches are organized and arranged for non-autistic people. Churches present Christianity in a way that may not make sense to people with autism. Because of this, people with autism don’t fit in church, just like they don’t fit in other social environments. Here are five ways that the Gospel is communicated that are counterproductive for people with autism. Later I’ll give suggestions for how to overcome these five roadblocks.

1.       God wants to have a personal relationship with you. The problem with this statement is that people with autism often don’t want a personal relationship with God. In fact, they might not want a personal relationship with anyone. One of the hallmarks of autism is the inability to form deep, personal relationships in typical ways. Because of this, people with autism don’t have many friendships. When the church characterizes Christianity as a personal relationship with Jesus, people with autism walk away because they view God as more of a principle than a person. He rules the universe from afar, unconcerned with human affairs. The idea of God appeals to the autistic person’s intellect rather than emotions.

2.       Christianity is understood through metaphors. Our faith is full of metaphors that don’t make sense to the person with autism. I’m not autistic, and I love metaphors, but I have some traits that are associated with autism so I can understand this perspective. When I was young and Christians talked about “hearing God’s voice,” I resigned myself to eternal damnation because it did not make sense to me that people could hear God speak. Fortunately, God reached me despite my misunderstanding. Christians use phrases like “this is my body which is broken for you” … “He’s got the whole world in His hands” … “you are the temple of the Holy Spirit” … Christianity is full of metaphors and figures of speech. And the metaphors are Biblical! But they might not make sense to the person with autism.

3.       Christianity relies on faith rather than reason. “In order to please God we need to accept His Word without demanding proof.” But this is a fundamental misunderstanding of the meaning of faith, which is relying on God and trusting him – not accepting claims apart from proof. We can’t prove Christianity in a scientific sense, of course, but the entire field of Christian apologetics is devoted to providing arguments and evidence for our faith. When preachers and teachers tell their congregations not to doubt and not to ask too many questions, it pushes away those with autism.

4.       You need to have fellowship to be a strong Christian. Church is all about social relationships. We’re greeted at the door with a hug or a handshake – we have to turn to our neighbor before the sermon to give them a hug or make small talk – we have to sit in a circle and take turns praying – we have to express our opinions in small-group Bible studies … These are all activities that might make someone with autism uncomfortable.

5.       Bright lights and loud music and loud sermons. Many churches have bright lights and loud music as part of their worship, which can drive away someone with autism. My daughter used to cry in church because the preacher was so loud. “Why is he screaming?” she cried. Sometimes we had to take her out of church in the middle of the sermon. I can relate – sometimes the volume of the preacher hurts my ears too. Why do preachers have to shout their sermons? Do they think volume is correlated with truth? Do they think they’re more convincing if they’re louder? I don’t get it.

For all of these reasons, the autistic population is alienated by church and is thus under-represented in the kingdom of God. Church is organized by non-autistic people for their own benefit. But if the Bible is right – if Jesus is right – then Christians should be concerned with those who are outside the norm and who have difficulty speaking for themselves. How can the church welcome the autistic community? Here are five suggestions that line up with the five hindrances discussed above.

1.       Teach people that they can find meaning, purpose, and eternal life apart from the feeling of a personal relationship with God. Jesus told us that all believers have the Holy Spirit, but he didn’t say that we would all experience the Spirit’s presence in the same way. An autistic person’s experience of salvation might not include the feeling of relationship but might instead include a reduction of anxiety, a confidence that God will someday make everything right, and an appreciation for beauty and order in nature. Paul didn’t tell the Philippian jailer that he needed to ask Jesus into his heart and have a personal relationship with him in order to be saved – he simply said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).

2.       Explain metaphors. When your teaching includes figures of speech that roll off your tongue due to decades of familiarity, remember that not everyone has the same intuition. This is true not only for people with autism but also for those who are unchurched. Take some time to explain what you mean. Or consider separate Bible classes that avoid religious terminology and metaphors and that instead are characterized by plain, literal, everyday speech.

3.       Learn about Christian apologetics, or delegate someone else to do so. Offer apologetics classes in your church. Offer other fact-based classes like Biblical history, church history, and Christian doctrine classes rather than the typical material that focuses on Christian living and experience. Academic classes may be considered boring and impractical for the majority of your congregation, but they may be just what people with autism need in order to find intellectual fulfillment in their faith.

4.       Don’t require social interactions that feel awkward for people with autism. Have meetings and prayer times and study formats that can be comfortably attended by nonsocial persons. Don’t grab someone’s hand, hug them, or put your arm around them suddenly or unexpectedly. Be sensitive to personal space. The Covid pandemic was a blessing in disguise for many nonsocial persons because they could finally attend church on Zoom rather than in person. Now that most people are again attending in person, many church leaders are teaching that Zoom isn’t a valid option for their members, and churches are cutting back on Zoom. Many times my own church’s on-line presence seems like an afterthought – it’s unpredictable and erratic, the Zoom connection is not available until 10 minutes after the service starts, announcements from the congregation are not repeated at the microphone and so are inaudible to the Zoom attendees, and the audio level is to low hear over the internet. Consider the needs of those who feel more comfortable meeting on-line than in person.

5.       Keep the volume down during worship and sermons. This is a delicate balance – there will always be someone complaining that the volume needs to be louder because of their hearing impairment, and there will always be someone else complaining that the volume needs to be lower because of their hearing sensitivity. Try to find the balance while considering both sides, or consider having headsets available so that those with hearing impairments or sensitivities can adjust the volume to their own liking.

I know that this is a big request. Most churches are small and can’t devote lots of effort and resources to special programs and classes. But each of us can try to be welcoming and accommodating. We need to welcome not only those who are like us, but also people with autism. We need to welcome people not in the way that we want, but in the way that they want.

Finally, here are a few closing tips for a more autism-friendly church.

·         No more meet-and-greet time. Don’t tell your congregation to turn to their neighbor and make small chat before the sermon. Even having greeters at the door is awkward for people with autism. If you have greeters, ask them to skip the handshake unless they know that the person likes physical contact.

·         Remember that people with autism act differently than you. They may make socially awkward statements, display an inappropriate sense of humor, and act “weird.” Love them and accept them even when they’re different than you. Remember that Jesus hung around with the outcasts of his time. Remember that Jesus told us to love by giving to those who cannot return the favor.

·         Teach your youth about people who are different. This is so important. Unfortunately, by the time they make it through their teen years, most people with autism have left church for good. They haven’t been able to make meaningful friendships as a teen, they’ve been excluded by the “cool” kids, the youth activities don’t appeal to them, and they’ve concluded that since they don’t fit in church then they don’t fit in Christianity. This is tragic. It’s not the youth group’s fault – they’re just kids acting like kids. But if only they could act more loving and accepting to the social outcasts, it could make a world of difference.

·         Remember that people with autism have strengths and can contribute to the church. Everyone has a gift, and it’s up to the church to figure out how to leverage the gifts of its members. People with autism could do great work with technical projects, Bible research, social media, and other tasks. Don’t just tolerate them – find out what their strengths and interests are and help them find ways to contribute to the church and the spread of the gospel. Everyone – autistic and non-autistic alike – loves to feel wanted, needed, and useful.

I’m not autistic and I don’t claim to speak for people with autism, but I do speak as someone with (too) much experience in this area. I hope that the church can become more sensitive and helpful to those who are different, that those on the autism spectrum can become more likely to stay in church through their young adult years, and that someday Christianity will be as well-represented in the autistic community as it is among the rest of us.